Password to My Heart
by jamkolover
Summary: After a life-threatening situation, Eddie and Jamie are left with a decision that could change everything they've ever known. This story takes place between the shooting and engagement in 8x22 *!spoilers!*
1. Chapter 1

Password to My Heart

Eddie stood in Jamie's embrace for what seemed like an eternity. She never wanted to let go, and she knew he didn't want to either. She didn't mind all the cop cars swarming their location or all of the smug looks she was receiving from the other cops arriving on the scene. All she knew was that she wanted to be with Jamie, and she never wanted to leave.

"Ed...Eddie" he whispered in her ear. "We have to go back to the precinct. We ha-have papers to fill out, we have to go debrief, we have to-"

"I know, I know" she replied gently pulling away from his warm embrace. Their eyes met and locked on each other. Jame placed his hand in the small of Eddie's back and led her back to the squad car, still trembling from fear and exhaustion. When they reached the car all Jamie could think about was how he wanted to kiss Eddie right there. He knew he couldn't, but he wanted to more than anything. The drove back to the precinct in silence, both not knowing what to say. Half-way through the ride, Eddie's hand met Jamies and didn't leave until they arrived. They both walked inside and went to fill out their forms. It only took about two hours, but to Eddie and Jamie, it seemed like it was never going to end.

"I'm going to go get changed" Eddie finally managed to get out. "Wait for me outside the women's locker room please."

"For someone so short, you sure take long to get dressed" Jamie exclaimed with half a smile on his face. Eddie poked him in his side and looked up at him with her beautiful blue eyes. Jamie's heart melted every time she looked at him like this. All he could do was nod and smile.

Fifteen minutes later Eddie walked out of the locker room wearing a black v-neck shirt, dark blue jeans, and cute black booties. Jamie cursed under his breath.

"Ready to go eat partner?" he asked, trying not to meet her eyes.

"I- um" her voice began to falter.

"Janko, you okay?"

"I don't really want to eat right now, I just need to lie down. I don't feel good."

Jamie knew Eddie had not handled her first kill well, and he was wondering if she was feeling that same guilt again. "I can take you back to my place" he suggested. "It's closer, and you can lie down on my couch".

"O-Okay. Let's go." Eddie and Jamie walked out to the car and got in it without saying a word. As Jamie drove through the city to his apartment. Eddie placed her head on the cool window and looked out upon the city. She could see Jamie glancing her way every so often, but didn't know if she would be able to remain calm if her eyes met his. Soon enough Jamie's car pulled into his lot and he got out of the car to open the door for Eddie. She quietly got out of the car and grabbed the bag of clothes she has brought with her. She walked up to his steps and waited for him to open the door. They walked up to his apartment and went inside. As soon as the door shut Eddie knew she had to tell him.

"Jamie I need to tell you something," Eddie said frantically "Today was - I thought - Jamie I l-

"I know, I know" he replied calmly interrupting her before she said something she couldn't take back. He wanted her to say those three words more than anything, but he knew that now was not the right time. "I have to tell you something too, but tell me tomorrow. After you've eaten, calmed down, and I know what to say"

Eddie smiled. She knew what was going on in his mind, it was the same as hers. She decided to take his advice and wait until tomorrow. "It's always something with you Reagan" she exclaimed as she walked into the bathroom to change into her comfy clothes. She came out a few minutes later in sweatpants, an oversized NYPD shirt, no makeup, and her hair up in a messy bun. Jamie just stared at her. "Close your mouth Reagan, you've seen me in better," Eddie said as she flopped down on the couch. She patted the seat next to her motioning for Jamie to sit down. He did as she asked, and put his arm around her waist as she pulled up the covers and switched on the television.

"What do you want a watch, Janko?"

"I don't know" she replied flipping through channels "A-ha! She exclaimed after a minute "Mean Girls!"

Jamie looked at her and rolled his eyes. "Really Janko. A chick-flick"

"This is not just _a chick-flick_ Reagan. This is an iconic movie"

"Whatever you say shortie". Eddie nudged him in the side and leaned into his shoulder. He tightened the grip around her waist.

An hour into the movie, Jamie glanced at Eddie and noticed she had fallen asleep. He looked at the clock which read 10:17. He wriggled his way out from Eddie and laid her down on the couch. As soon as he had done so, he knew she was going to wake up with a hurt back. He swiftly picked Eddie up trying not to wake her. She stirred a little in his arms but remained asleep. Jamie carried Eddie into his room and tucked her into his bed. He wasn't tired yet and he decided he would go out on the terrace. Jamie walked back into the living room and made a cup of tea to take out with him. When he walked out onto the terrace, he realized it had gotten much colder, and he needed a jacket. His signature leather jacket was in his bedroom and he didn't want to go in and wake up Eddie. He went to the closet in the foyer and found an old brown jacket from a few years back. He figured it would do the trick. Jamie went back onto the terrace and drank his tea in peace. Despite his hot tea, Jamie's hands were ice cold and he stuck them in his pockets. In there he felt a small leather box. He pulled the box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal a silver Claddagh ring. Jamie fumbled the ring in his fingers and squeezed it tight in his palm. He looked up at the sky and smiled. He had finally found the right words to say to Eddie. _Tomorrow,_ he thought to himself, _tomorrow_.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited, and reviewed chapter 1. I appreciate all of you who have read it so far! I also wanted to point out that I'm aware that some details aren't accurate in relation to NYC or some parts of the show, but the alterations are necessary to have the story play out the way I want it to. I still have a bunch of new ideas and I'm shooting for 5 chapters, but I might have more. Thank you all again. Enjoy chapter two! xx**

Eddie woke up at 8:52 am in an unfamiliar place. Beneath her, she felt a hard mattress and above her, a warm blanket was encompassing her. To the right of her, she felt heat radiating off of another body. She turned over and saw Jamie, peacefully sleeping beside her. As soon as she glanced at his resting body, the events from the previous day came back to her. Eddie's mind swirled as she thought about how Jamie almost got killed, how she felt he was in danger before he even was, how she saved him, how he held her and told her that he would spend his five-million dollars on her, just to make _her_ happy. Eddie's face broke into a smile at the thought. She figured Jamie had stayed up much later than she had and decided to make breakfast for him so he would have something to eat when he woke up. You know, just typical police partner stuff. Eddie rolled out of bed, got dressed in jeans and a lilac sweater, and headed to Jamie's kitchen to make pancakes.

Twenty-seven minutes later, Jamie strolled into the kitchen wearing just his sweatpants.

"Woah Reagan!" Eddie exclaimed trying her keep her attention focused on not overcooking the pancakes

"Relax Janko, you've seen me in better", Jamie said mimicking the words she had spoken to him less than twelve hours ago

"More like I've seen you in more," Eddie mumbled under her breath.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing!" she exclaimed as she placed the batch of pancakes on the table. "Now, go put a shirt on so we can eat. I don't want the food to get cold."

"Well, we know how much you love food," Jamie remarked as he turned back to his bedroom, swiftly redirecting Eddie's punch to his left arm to the center of his abs. He grabbed her wrist before she had time to react and twirled her around to the front of him so she was blocking the way to his bedroom. "I thought you said you wanted me to go get changed before breakfast," he said with a smirk slowly creeping across his face, "make up your mind Janko". Jamie lightly hip-checked her out of the way, sliding his hand across her side as he did so. He knew he had her in the palm of his hand, just like the Claddagh ring last night on the terrace.

Eddie slowly made her way to the tell to sit down and wait for Jamie to come back. A thousand thoughts ran through her head, but they were all interrupted when Jamie came back into the kitchen, dressed in jeans and a sweater, and sat down at the table. "Pass the syrup, please… Eddie? Hello? Earth to Janko?"

"Ye-yea here," she said handing it over

"So what do you want to do today? We have the day off you know."

"Oh uh, I don't care. Whatever is fine." Eddie quickly finished her cup of coffee so she could momentarily remove herself from the table to get more.

They ate in silence for the next ten minutes until Eddie cleaned up her plate, ran into Jamie's bathroom, and locked the door. Eddie sat down on the floor and starting silently bawling. She didn't know why she was crying, but she didn't know how to stop the flow of tears from streaming down her face either. To Eddie, it felt like she was only in the bathroom for a minute or two, but to Jamie, it was a lifetime. He went over to the door and was about to knock on it when he heard Eddie's soft muffled cries. Jamie's mind began to race. _What went wrong, what did I do? Did I come on too strong? I thought she was ready. I thought we were going to -_ he was interrupted by the click of the door.

Eddie walked out of the bathroom with red puffy eyes. She couldn't bring herself to look at Jamie so she pushed past him, grabbed her bag off the kitchen counter, and made her way to the door. Jamie stopped her.

"I can't do this Jamie. I can't get lost in a world of what if's and could be's again. I just can't do it. You know how I feel about you, and that's never going to change. And what you did at breakfast… you almost had me believing in us, in what we co-" Jaime pushed Eddie into the door with his body and kissed her. He ran his fingers through the ends of her hair but pulled away after only a few seconds. He looked down into her eyes and wiped the tears staining her cheeks.

"You don't need to wonder what we could be anymore Eddie. You just need to believe in what were are."

"And what would that be Jamie! You say you have feelings for me, kiss me into the door, and then just stand here. For what!"

"For love," he replied softly not breaking the intense gaze into her eyes. "C'mon," he said lacing his fingers through hers, "I want to take you somewhere".


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to all those who continue to read and leave reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter! xx**

Jamie pulled Eddie into the cab with a force that she had never felt before. He wasn't angry at her, but he was determined to show her something. What that was she would just have to wait and see "The Met please" Jamie said to the driver in a low voice.

"A museum, _really_ Reagan" she joked. His expression softened for a minute as he looked into her eyes.

"Yes Janko, a museum. You should try them sometime"

"I've been to the Met before Jamie," she said rolling her eyes. "My dad and I used to go every winter when I was younger… well until he got convicted. I haven't been back since". Eddie focused her gaze out the window.

"Eddie I had no idea," Jamie exclaimed, using his thumb and pointer finger to turn her chin around so she was facing him once again. "We don't have to go if you don't want to". A silence filled the car as the driver pulled up to the museum entrance. Jamie paid the bill as Eddie stepped out of the car, and quickly met her on the steps. Eddie took Jamie's hand into hers and stared up into his eyes.

"There's no one I rathered come with," she said smiling. "Plus, I really want to see what kind of tricks you have up that Reagan sleeve of yours, especially if it involves food. Jamie chuckled assuring Eddie that her assumption was correct and latched onto her hand tighter as they walked up the steps to the museum.

"So what do you want to see first?"

"My dad and I always went to the Greek and Roman side first and then the Egyptian one. Can we do that"

"Whatever you want ba- Eddie. Whatever you want _Eddie_ " She smiled at the thought that Jamie had just planted in her mind. Jamie smiled back, reassuring Eddie of the connection they had. The two walked around the museum for a couple hours until Jamie heard the slight rumble of Eddie's stomach from in front of him. He gave out a slight chuckle, reached for Eddie's wrist and spun her to face him. "I see somebody's hungry. But hey, what's new?" Eddie looked around the exhibit and noticed that she and Jamie were the only people in the room. She took two steps closer to him, so their noses were centimeters apart. She bit down on her bottom lip and nodded.

"I think I'm ready for that surprise now" she whispered. Jamie leaned into her ear.

"I think so too." He once again laced their fingers together and led her up the stairs until they reached an elevator. As they stepped out of the elevator and walked up the five stairs in front of them Eddie gasped. Jamie had taken her to the Rooftop Garden that looks down upon all of Manhattan, and of course, served food.

"Oh, Jamie it's beautiful up here!" Eddie ran to the railing and looked at all of the tiny cabs whizzing by below. Jamie came up behind her and placed his hand around her waist, pulling her close to him. She rested her head on his shoulders and smiled. The two stayed in this position for the next five minutes, happily and peacefully watching the cars go by. Their newfound serenity was once again interrupted by the grumbling of Eddie's stomach. Jamie laughed

"I guess we should go eat now, huh?" Eddie stood on her toes and placed a light kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you for taking me here Jamie. It really means a lot to me, to whatever we are-"

"Shh Shh, not now Eddie. Let's not worry about our future right now. Let's just live in the moment."

"Actually, let's just eat," she said smiling. Jamie threw his head back and laughed. He intertwined their hands again and led her over the bar to order.

"I'll take two cokes and two cheeseburgers, one with no pickles and the other with no tomatoes."

"Extra fries too please" Eddie chimed in from behind

"As the little lady wishes," the waiter said from behind the counter. "Your order number is 27. I'll call you when they are ready.

"Thank you" replied Jamie as he took Eddie's hand and led her to a table. As they sat down Jamie's phone buzzed. He looked at it and smiled.

"Who is it," Eddie asked.

"Sarg. He said we don't have to take the night shift tonight. He got someone to cover our shifts. He figured we could use a full day off after yesterday."

"Yea, you could say that" Eddie mumbled. An awkward silence suddenly filled the table. Jamie and Eddie both struggled to find the next words to say.

"Um, I'm going to go check on the food," Jamie said getting up from the table, "I'll be back in a few." Eddie just nodded in response. Jamie went over the bar and signaled back to Eddie that the food would be out in five minutes. He decided to stay and talk to the waiter instead of going back to the table and ignoring the conversation that he and Eddie needed to have. Eddie noticed what he was doing, and decided that she would have some fun of her own. She looked around the table and noticed he left his phone there. She picked it up and realized it was locked.

 _What would he put for his password? He's pretty sentimental so maybe a birthday._ Eddie typed in the year he was born. _Hmmm, she thought. She recalled Jamie having two zeros in his password and thought for a minute about what it could be. 2009, she thought. The year Joe died._ Eddie punched in the numbers, and the phone unlocked. _Bingo_. Eddie started snooping through Jamie's phone and found nothing interesting. Eddie swiped through his folder of games and opened up Words with Friends. _Typical Reagan_ She clicked on the game he was playing with Erin and noticed he was losing. She laughed at the phone but decided to play along anyway. _Hey,_ she thought _, maybe she'd make him win._ Eddie became so immersed in the game that she didn't even notice when Jamie came back to the table with food.

"Going through my phone Janko?" he asked as he set her food in front of her "very classy."

"For your information Reagan, I was just playing Words with Friends against Erin. Which you are now winning, by the way"

"Mhmm," he said as he took a bite of his burger"

"Tvat's all I wz duing," she said through a mouthful of food

'What did you just say" Jamie said through laughs.

"I said, that playing Erin was all I was doing."

"I believe you. But, even so, I think it's only fair if I get to go through yours. Eddie saw the mischievous twinkle in Jamie's eye as he said this. Eddie decided to play along.

"Well" she reached for his hand across the table and tapped on the tips of his fingers, "you'd have to guess my password first. That's how I got into your phone after all." Jamie latched onto Eddie's fingers and ceased her tapping"

"You know what it means, don't you." he said looking down. "It'-It's the year J-Joe-"

"I know Jamie, and I think it's sweet."

"Well, know what was else is sweet?" He said smiling, "You telling me the password to your phone."

"Nice try Reagan," she took a took the final bite of her burger and swallowed "not gonna happen. Eddie got up from her chair and went to stand behind Jamie. She threw her arms around his shoulder and leaned into his ear. "I will, however, give you a hint." Chills ran down Jamie's spine as Eddie's warm breath floated effortlessly into his ear and onto his neck. Eddie noticed the goosebumps and traced them with her finger. "That is unless you don't want one". She stepped away from the chair so Jamie could get up out of it. He grabbed her wrist with the same purposeful force as when he put her in the cab and led her to the elevator.

"Trust me, Janko, I do." The two stood in the back of the elevator holding hands. Eddie desperately wanted to give Jamie's hint but there were too many people crowded in the tight space. As the doors, open Jamie gripped tighter onto Eddie's wrist and pulled her through the crowded elevator, down the corridors, passing all of the exhibits they said they were going to back and see, and down the front steps until they were standing where the cab had dropped them off earlier that day. Jamie saw a cab at the other side of the roundabout and signaled for it to come pick them up. As the car got closer, Eddie knew that this was her opportunity. She transitioned her grip on Jamie's hands to his waist, and his were suddenly in the small of her back.

"My hint, Reagan", the cab pulled up in front of them, "is that the password to my phone is the password to my heart." Jamie was puzzled as Eddie broke from his embrace and sat in the passenger's seat of the cab. He didn't know what her words had meant or why she had told him, but he sure as hell was going to find out.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you all for reading the story and leaving kind and helpful reviews! Right now I'm shooting for one more chapter, but I might end up with six depending on what you all think. When you finish reading the chapter feel free to answer the question I have at the bottom. Also, please remember that italics represent the characters inner thoughts, and a new line represents the other character speaking. Happy reading! xx**

Jamie sat in the back of cab car utterly confused. A million thoughts ran through his head, the most prominent one being that he was in love with Eddie. He knew he has had feelings for her for a while, but the way she whispered in his ear on the rooftop made his body feel something he had never felt before, not even with Sydney. Jamie looked in the rearview mirror to try and break his thoughts and saw Eddie's eyes staring back at him. She didn't break her gaze like she would normally do when they were having a moment that made them question their feelings for each other, instead, she just smiled. Jamie fixed his gaze out the window to try and hide the dorky grin creeping onto his face. It didn't work.

The cab pulled up to Jamie's apartment. Eddie paid and got out. She ran up ahead into the building and to Jamie's door. She pulled out the key that he had given her and went inside, leaving the latch in between the door and it's frame so Jamie could easily get in. She put down her purse and heard Jamie's footsteps coming closer to the door. Eddie instantly felt herself getting warmer. _It's hot in here. I really need to tell Jamie to turn on the A/C._ Eddie knew that wasn't the real reason she felt her temperature rising, but convinced herself of it anyways. She faced away from the door and took off her sweatshirt. As she went to lift it over her head, her left sleeve got caught on the face of her watch. Eddie starting spinning around the living room and kitchen trying to free herself from the overwhelming heat of the sweatshirt that now seemed to take over her whole body. When she finally succeeded in getting the sweatshirt off, she was facing the door. She saw Jamie standing in the doorway looking at her, not moving a muscle.

"What?" she said looking confused. "What's wrong?"

"You u-uh los-" he replied pointing to her stomach. Eddie looked down and realized that she had removed more than her sweatshirt. Her face turned bright red as she dropped to the floor and started pulling her lilac sweater from her NYPD sweatshirt. Jamie shut the door behind him and went over to her as she has untangled the two tops. "Hey, hey", he said noticing a single tear running down her face "what's wrong"

"You pro-promised," she said through more tears "We were supposed to talk about this, what we were, and now here I am standing in the middle of your apartment wearing nothing but a-" Jamie interrupted her cries with a kiss. It was slow and meaningful, and Eddie loved how it felt on her salty lips. Jamie knew that Eddie wasn't crying out of embarrassment or a broken promise. He knew the real reason and hoped his kiss would remedy that, even if only for a few seconds. Jamie broke from the kiss after a few seconds. He took her hand and led her to his couch, where he told her to sit there. He went into his room and grabbed the comforter off his bed and the Claddagh ring from inside his nightstand. He made his way back to the living room to find Eddie where he left her, wiping the tears from her face.

"You gonna put a shirt on Janko?"

"Oh I-uh," she said getting up

"Relax, I'm joking," he said throwing the blanket at her. "This is better for both of us". Her eyebrow arched.

"More efficient?" she asked with a smile. "For spoiling?" Jamie laughed and pulled Eddie onto his lap. He laced his fingers through her hair as she pressed her head into his shoulders.

"Eddie I'm hot," Jamie said after a few minutes. "I'm not used to being under this heavy blanket with a shirt on and a person on top of me."

"Well," replied Eddie, "I can only fix one of those things." She shifted herself so she was faced Jamie and pulled his cotton t-shirt away from him. She threw it on the floor and snuggled back into her previous position. She loved the way her skin felt on his, and by the sound, Jamie let out when she shifted back into his lap, she could tell he did too.

Despite their playful flirting and banter, another silence filled the room. This wasn't as awkward as the one on the Met rooftop. Instead, it was a silence because both Eddie and Jamie needed to figure out what they wanted to say, and how they wanted to say it.

"May I please have another hint, Ms. Janko?" Jamie asked breaking the silence. Eddie looked up puzzled.

"Ms. Janko? Really?" she laughed. " A hint for what?"

"Your phone password shortie"

"Well, It's five digits long," she said poking hardly in the abs for his snarky remark. He gave out a slight puff of air as if Eddie's finger barely made a difference.

"C'mon Janko that's it? Give me something else, something deep."

"Alright," she said and thought for a minute. "The password to my phone identifies," she looked into Jamie's eyes, "the only person I've ever really loved. Jamie just stared back into her eyes. "How's that for deep?' she asked turning back into her original position. As she was settling back down, she felt something small and square in Jamie's pocket. _That better not be what I think it is. A ring? No, it can't be. He's not going to propose. We've never even dated. He would never go against the patrol guide, he's way too much of a boy scout for that. she smiled at the thought. That's not Reagan… right?"_ As her thoughts swirled around her, Eddie felt herself falling into a deep sleep, right in Jamie's arms.

It only took Jamie twenty minutes to realize Eddie was sleeping. He was mesmerized by the rhythmic inhale and exhale of her body in his arms. He wished more than anything that this was going to turn into something real. But, he was aware of the reality. He knew that they would keep up their facade until tomorrow, when Jamie had to go to Sunday Dinner, without Eddie, and they would meet back at the precinct on Monday, pretending like they hadn't kissed twice, went to the Met, lied in each others arms skin to skin, pretending like nothing happened. Jamie lifted Eddie up and carried her to his room and laid her down in bed. He placed her on the left side of the bed and crawled into the right. He unwillingly turned his back to her, putting up the glass wall that so desperately wants to be shattered.

Jamie woke up to Eddie mumbling in her sleep. He looked at the clock which read 3:27. He really wanted to wake Eddie up from her mumbling and hold her in his arms, but he knew better than that. He turned back over to his side of the bed and tried to fall asleep.

"6….6…..60...". Eddie's mumbles suddenly became easier to understand. "...60...605…" Jamie became understandably intrigued. "...605….6052...52….6052…6052-"

"8," Eddie and Jamie said at the same time. Jamie didn't know what to do.

"60528" Jamie muttered. That was his number. Why was Eddie saying it in her sleep? As much as he knew he shouldn't awaken Eddie, he knew that he had to find out why she was reciting it.

"Eddie...Eddie, wake up" Eddie stirred slightly by remained asleep. Jamie placed a hand on her side and noticed that she was burning hot. "Eddie!" he said his voice a little louder than before. Eddie jolted up from her sleep, sweat pooling between her brows.

"What! What's wrong!" Eddie asked with fear in her eyes. Jamie rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"You-um-were really hot and mumbling in your sleep and I wanted to make sure you were okay. He looked down. "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have woken you."

"No, no, your fine Jamie, thank you." Eddie got up from the bed, still dressed how she was on the couch and made her way to Jamie's bathroom. As soon as she walked inside she locked the door and slid her back down it to the floor. She sat there for a minute, staring at the tile floor until she got up and began to splash some water on her face. _Maybe I didn't say his numbers. I mean I sure as hell was thinking about me telling him but maybe I just mumbled nonsense. Yea… nonsense."_ Even she wasn't convinced. Eddie dried her face with Jamie's towel, which smelled just like the aftershave she loved so much. She stepped out into the bedroom to find Jamie sitting upright staring her in the eyes. She knew what he was going to say.

"Eddie, we need to talk about something." She decided she would be oblivious to what he was talking about.

"Um, sure what about?" she smiled and sat down on the bed across from him.

"Well, you know how I said you were mumbling in your sleep your sleep?" she nodded. "You were reciting my badge number, Eddie. Over and over, you kept reciting it." Her face turned a slight shade of red, which she masked by grabbing his hand and sliding closer to him, resting her head on his shoulders.

"I know" she replied calmly "60528"

"Why?" he asked turning her to face him. "Do you always do that?" She laughed.

"No, I don't ever do that," she said

"Well, why tonight?" he asked puzzled. She broke from Jamie's grip, got up from the bed, and went out into the living room. She came back a moment later with her phone in her hand. She slid onto the bed and tossed it to Jamie. He stared at the screen for a minute before slowly typing in his badge number to her phone. As he clicked the last number, he felt his heart clench with disbelief. The phone unlocked.

"Eddie I don't know what say." he smiled. "But I know what I can do." He threw the phone back to her and reached into his nightstand, pulling out the Claddagh ring." He turned back to Eddie. "Eddie Janko, I don't know what we are right here, right now, but I know what we could be, and more importantly, I know what I want us to be." He opened the ring box. Eddie gasped. "Relax, Janko it's not an engagement ring or anything. It's a Claddagh ring. It's a typical Irish ring that symbolizes friendship, love, and loyalty.

"Everything I want us to be" Eddie whispered with tears welling in her eyes. Jamie took the silver ring out of the box and slid it onto her right index finger with the heart facing hers.

"It represents us. How we are not quite single, but technically dating. I don't want to rush things yet but-" Eddie took the slip of paper that was in the box describing how to wear ring and read it over quickly. She slid the ring off her right hand and onto the left, with the heart facing Jamie's.

"I know we aren't officially engaged," she said eyes still trying to hold back tears, but I know will be one day." Jamie pulled Eddie closer to him silently agreeing with her proposal.

"Password to my heart, huh," he said through her hair. "Kinda corny Janko." She scoffed.

"You love it," she said pretending to be offended.

"I do," he replied. Eddie looked up at Jamie and rubbed the pad of her thumb over his sharp jawline. "The future Mrs. Jameson Reagan," she said matching his smile "I like the sound the sound of that"

"I do too," he said, wrapping his arm around her waist and lying back down. He pulled her close and intertwined their hands. He kissed the top of her head and rested his chin upon it. The two lied in bed silently listening to each other breathing. Soon enough, more than just their hands became intertwined in a feeling they both never wanted to forget.

 **A/N pt 2: Thank you all so much for reading. As I mentioned above I have a poll for you all. Please feel free to leave your review of the story followed by the number that describes how you would like the story to continue. xx - Sydney**

 **1\. End the story here**

 **2\. Have one more chapter having Eddie frantically get ready for Sunday Dinner and the car ride over**

 **3\. Number 2 plus another {short} chapter following Sunday Dinner (Sunday Dinner will not be written in) in which Eddie and Jamie talk about how the family reacted and their future as partners, both police and romantically.**


	5. Chapter 5

Sweat pooled between Jamie's brows. He looked around the church and saw hundreds of cops in their dress blues staring blankly ahead. Some even had tears in their eyes. He continued to survey the area and saw his family sitting in the next aisle over. Why wasn't he with them? he thought. And where was Eddie? Jamie attempted to move over to his family to try and find answers to his questions but he couldn't move. It was almost as if his feet were super-glued in place. All of a sudden his father walked up to the podium at the front of the church to give a speech. Still unable to have his questions answered, all Jamie could do was watch. He glanced over at his sister Erin, who had tears running down her face. He had only ever seen her cry like this on four other occasions, the death of their mom, brother, grandmother, and during her divorce from Jack. Before Jamie could mouth to Erin what was wrong she turned back to their father. Jamie did the same. For the first time, Jamie also noticed his father's eyes filled with tears. His hands were shaking, but he began his speech nonetheless.

"We are gathered here today to commemorate the loss of a fallen officer," Frank began unsteadily. "Officer….." Jamie couldn't hear the name. ".. was one of the best cops our division has ever known. She worked proudly on the field with her partners and will be missed dearly. The NYPD has been lucky to have Officer"….. It happened again. It's almost as if Jamie wasn't allowed to hear what was being spoken. As if the name was cursed…" working for it over the past 5 years, including her most recent partner Officer Matthew Lane. However," "Frank's eyes softened as a singular tear escaped from it "she was more than just a great cop to me. To me, Eddie Janko was family.

Jamie's eyes shot open as he threw the covers off of him and ran into his bathroom. His vision was hazy from tears and sweat he ran into the corner of the dresser as he went. He had completely forgotten that Eddie was in the room with him, and was startled when he heard a knock on the bathroom door moments later.

"Jamie," a soft voice said through the door. "Open the door please." No response. "Reagan…." the voice was now sharper and more demanding. Still, in a haze, Jamie opened the door to reveal his wife-to-be wearing one of his old Harvard t-shirts, with an arm up against the door frame, as if she would fall without it there. Eddie looked at Jamie and saw his bloodshot eyes and matted hair. She quickly ran into his arms and embraced him and a deep hug. "Want to talk about it?" she said into his chest. He nodded slightly and led Eddie back to the bed to talk.

Eddie took a seat criss-cross applesauce style directly across from Jamie. She took his hand from across the bed and interlocked their fingers, brushing her thumb across his. "Whenever you're ready," she said as she gave a tender smile. Jamie looked down into his lap and broke his grip on Eddie's hand.

"We can't do this Eddie," he replied softly. Her expression changed. "I want to Ed, I want to so bad I don't know how to explain it. I've wanted this for so long, but we can't do this. I can't." Eddie slid the Claddagh ring off her hand and fingered it in her palm for what seemed like an hour. As much as she knew they both wanted this she had to accept Jamie's wishes. She was just about to hand it back to him when she stopped herself.

"What did you see Jamie? After everything we've been through, what's so bad that you can't bear to be with me." Anger seeped into Eddie's voice without her intent. Jamie looked up from his lap and into her bright blue eyes that fogged over from the tears.

"You had a new partner. He couldn't protect you." More tears rolled down his face. "Two in the heart Eddie. And there was nothing anyone could do. Not you, or him, or me. But if we were partners, I would never let it get to that point because I would rather sit in a patrol car every day and watch you get married to some other dude who sure as hell doesn't deserve you than have you die on me when I'm miles from you. I love you too much to do that to you, Janko. I love you too much." Jamie got up from the bed and resumed his position in the bathroom. He sat down up against the tub and leaned his head back. He listened to the silence of his apartment for a few minutes until he heard the slight click of a doorknob followed by a door slamming shut.

5 hours later Jamie woke up to the sound of tapping on the bathroom door. He picked himself up off the floor and rubbed the back of his neck cursing himself for falling asleep after ending things like that with Eddie. Jamie knew that this way was better for the both of them. Or so he thought. Jamie opened the door of the bathroom to reveal Eddie standing behind it, smiling, with a stack of books in her hand. "What the... Didn't we just break up? I was supposed to avoid having an awkward conversation until tomorrow, not 4 hours."

"5 actually" Eddie replied. "and if this goes well there won't be any room for conversation" Eddie muttered. Jamie smiled slightly hearing her remark but reeled his emotions back in quickly. He noticed that Eddie still had the ring on her hand, and the books she was holding were the NYPD manuals.

"So, what are you doing here Janko?" Jamie asked as he brushed past her and went into the kitchen.

"Well," she said following behind him and setting the books down on the counter, "I know you don't want to be... romantically involved because you don't want me to die. And despite that fact that I can handle myself, you and your boy scout ways don't seem to think so." Eddie propped herself up on the counter. "Anyways, I knew that I couldn't sit in a patrol car with you after you half proposed to me and then took it back." Jamie looked down sheepishly at his feet as Eddie picked up the book on the top of the pile and began to flip through it frantically. Jamie looked back at her and saw her rapid motions.

"Woah, Janko," he said as he approached her. "What are you looking for?"

"This!" she exclaimed as she closed the cover of the book and threw it on the floor. Jamie was puzzled.

"You came all the way to Brooklyn to throw a book on my floor?"

"No Reagan. I came all the way to Brooklyn to tell you that there's nothing here."

"Nothing? What do you mean nothing?"

"I mean," Eddie said inching closer, "that there is nothing in that book or these that says anything about married cops working together on the job." Eddie placed her pointer and middle finger on Jamie's chest. She moved them up closer to his lips with every beat. "Ab-sol-ute-ly nothing." Jamie placed a firm grip over Eddie's fingers ceasing her motions. He looked sternly into her eyes

"Are you sure Eddie." She wiggled her fingers out from his grip and placed a hand on her hip.

"Yes Jamie, I'm 100% sure. If you want I can show you." She turned around and began to bend down to reach for the book. Jamie grabbed her wrist and spun her towards him before she could. He pulled her in close and locked eyes once more.

"I believe you" he whispered as his lips came crashing onto hers.


End file.
